


Not So Little Punk Ass

by Trenchcoat Hunter (Reedt)



Series: Trenchcaot Hunter's Tumblr Inspired Series [7]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Based on a Tumblr Post, Comedy, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Inspired By Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 00:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14779862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reedt/pseuds/Trenchcoat%20Hunter
Summary: Based on thisTumblrprompt:What if Bucky hadn’t been captured?





	Not So Little Punk Ass

**Author's Note:**

> lol I saw this and had to write it for Memorial day!

"SARGE!"

James flinched awake, reflexes sharp and muscles tight for a brief moment before he relaxes and remembers he's back with the 107th after a narrow escape. The adrenaline was diffusing and letting James' heart rate slowing down.

"Sarge?!"

"What," James yells back to the voice outside his tent.

"Brass is calling a muster!"

James cursed colorfully as he rolled off his cot. "What the hell for?"

"I don't know Sarge, but we got 15 minutes. They're even setting up a big stage!"

James grunted as he planted his feet into his dirt caked boots as his weary bones creaked with cold. "Fine, fine. Thanks, Dum Dum."

Ten minutes later, James trudged up with the rest of his unit and stared at the stupid stage ahead of them. What kind of crap are the brass about to do now? They just got done with some hellish missions and all James wanted to do was sleep. He nudged a soldier next to him and nodded toward the stage. "Any word on what kind of crap this is for?"

"Something about a special covert ops or something."

James snorted as an audio tracks static kicked up and soon patriotic bugles blared a moment. Rolling his eyes, James stuffed his hands into his pocket to rummage for anything to fiddle with as he watched a tall, impressively built figure march across the stage. Finding his lighter and some cigarettes, James watch as the big blue boob stand awkwardly for a moment on stage. The patriotic music died and there was a solid minute of dead silence. Popping a cig between his lips (a habit he knew Steve would give him hell for when he got home) he leaned down over his lighter to protect the flame.

**"HOW MANY OF YOU ARE READY TO HELP ME SOCK OLD ADOLF IN THE JAW?"**

James knew that voice instantly, anywhere and he stared at the big(?) blue boob on stage. Was he hallucinating? Maybe he did need to see the Medics after that mission after all.

 **"STEVE???"** James hollered at the stage, startling the soldiers near him.

The dead air lasted only a few moments before the speakers blared once more. "IS THAT BUCKY?"

As soon as James heard his childhood nickname, a nickname used by only one person, James fumed as he threw the lighter on the ground. "STEVE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

Steve seemed to suddenly understand he was in trouble while also forgetting the microphone was still picking up everything he was mumbling. **"SHIT THAT IS BUCKY."**

James began pushing his way through the throngs of soldiers, his anger almost radiating through his eyes as he eyed the oddly(?) big blue boob. "WHEN DID YOU GET TALLER?!"

A litany of **"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT"** echoed through the grounds as Steven turned away a moment.

All the while, James is plowing through the back of the crowd as he heard whispers all around.

_"Oh, this is Steve!"_

_"Buchanon's Steve?"_

_"Yeah that Steve."_

" **WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THIS WAS THE 107th?"** echoed over the loud speakers while a faint " **We didn't think it was relevant** " barely picked up.

James didn't really care as soldiers began to part way for the furious Sargent as he got a better look at his(?) big blue boob the closer he got. "STEVE WHY ARE YOU BIG???"

Steve seemed to finally pick out his furious friend as more soldiers parted the way like the Red Sea, out of the warpath of the enraged Sargent and took a moment to think of what he could say.

_"That really the sarge's Steve?"_

_"Seems like it."_

_"Thought he was littler."_

"SO DID I," James snarled, "SO DID FUCKING I!"

Seeing how close Bucky was and hearing that last growl, Steve decided to walk off stage left.

James hoisted himself stage just as Steve disappeared beyond the stage. "STEVE GET YOUR PUNK ASS BACK HERE!"

The 107th watched as Sargent Buchanan marched off stage before they heard a strangled cry for help.


End file.
